French Social Codes and Etiquette.

In France, relationships run a lot on invisible social codes — saying bonjour, using "vous", doing la bise at the right moment. Mastering them changes everything: you come across as polite and integrated, not as a "tourist". This guide gathers the everyday codes, from the café to the office, with the differences that often surprise Koreans. (Current in 2026.)

JARI tip: to put these codes into practice, meet people in the Community and go to events on the JARI.

"Bonjour" first, always.

This is rule number one. When you enter a shop, a bakery or an office, before asking anything, you say "Bonjour" ("Bonsoir" in the evening). Asking for directions or a product without greeting first comes across as rude. You follow with "s'il vous plaît" (please), "merci" (thank you), "au revoir" (goodbye), "bonne journée" (have a good day).

Newcomers' most common slip: forgetting "Bonjour" before speaking. Even at a counter, greet before asking your question.

"Tu" or "vous"?

French distinguishes "vous" (politeness, distance) from "tu" (familiarity) — a bit like Korean speech levels, but the rules differ. By default, you use "vous": strangers, shopkeepers, colleagues, older or senior people. You switch to "tu" only when the other person offers it — and it's usually the older or more senior person who invites it.

When in doubt, use "vous". Switching to "tu" too early can seem over-familiar or disrespectful.

La bise and greetings.

• Among friends and family, you do la bise (in Île-de-France, 2 kisses, often starting with the right cheek; 2 to 4 depending on the region).
• In a professional setting or with strangers, a handshake is preferred.
• Between men, it's often a handshake; between close friends, la bise.

Easiest approach: hold out your hand, and adjust if the other person leans in for la bise.

Tipping (le pourboire).

In France, service is included in the bill, so tipping is not mandatory. Leaving a few euros (€2-5 depending on the bill) at a restaurant or café is appreciated if you were well served, but never required. No need to calculate 10-20% as elsewhere.

At the table: the French meal.

• A meal is a social moment: you take your time and chat.
• People often wait for "bon appétit" before starting.
• Keep your hands on the table (not on your lap), wrists resting.
• Bread goes beside the plate (not on it) and is broken by hand.
• When you toast (apéro or dinner), you look each other in the eye.

At the office: work culture.

• The lunch break is a real ritual: often 1 to 1.5 hours, people go out to eat and disconnect.
• Punctuality matters for meetings: arrive 5-10 minutes early.
• Emails are fairly formal: start with "Bonjour", end with "Cordialement".
• People usually start with "vous", then move to "tu" depending on the team.
• The French enjoy debating and voicing disagreement openly: it's not conflict, just discussion.

Invitations & social punctuality.

Watch the paradox: you're punctual at work, but for dinner at someone's home, arriving 10-15 minutes late (le quart d'heure de politesse) is normal — arriving on time or early can put the host on the spot. When invited, bring something: wine, flowers or dessert.

Don't arrive empty-handed, and avoid talking money (salary, prices) at the table: it's a taboo subject.

In daily life.

• On public transport, speak quietly; loud phone calls are frowned upon.
• Queue, and say "pardon" / "excusez-moi" to get past.
• At a café, you can stay a long time with a single drink; you order at the table and ask for "l'addition, s'il vous plaît" (the bill, please).
• Hold the door for the person behind you.

Common faux pas.

• Not saying "Bonjour" before asking for something.
• Using "tu" with a stranger, a shopkeeper or a senior.
• Trying to leave a big tip (unnecessary) or expecting one.
• Asking about money or overly personal questions too soon.
• Arriving exactly on time to a private dinner (a little late is more polite).
• Mistaking French frankness for rudeness: debate is cultural.

FAQ.

Should I do la bise with colleagues? A handshake is safer at work, especially at first. Watch what others do; la bise comes with familiarity.

Are French people cold or rude? Not really: they're more reserved with strangers and more direct in discussion. Once the ice breaks, relationships are warm.

Do I have to speak French everywhere? Starting with "Bonjour, parlez-vous anglais?" in French changes everything: the effort is much appreciated, even if you then continue in English.

How much to tip? Nothing mandatory; €2-5 if you're happy, or nothing. Service is already included.

Key takeaways.

• Bonjour first, everywhere.
• Use "vous" by default; wait until you're offered "tu".
• La bise among close ones, handshake at work.
• Tipping is not mandatory.
• At the table and socially: take your time, avoid the topic of money, and bring a small gift when invited.

the detailed guides.

To go further, the JARI guides in the Culture cluster:

• Café culture & art de vivre
• Holidays & public holidays (2026)
• Workplace culture
• Learning French